In Which There Are 50 Snippets
by puzzles of people
Summary: 50 short stories, be they sentences or paragraphs, from the lives of Sophie and Howl. Spoilers for all three books. T just in case.
1. Chapter 1

**A very fluffy bit of finals procrastination. I decided to do one of those challenge thingies instead of writing my essay. I'm such a good student. They're basically just short snippets from different points in the lives of Sophie and Howl. Some of them are quite long and some of them are quite short, so I didn't exactly follow the challenge guidelines. Mostly, I just really wanted some short prompts. Spoilers for all three books.**

**This is part 1 of 5. I'm splitting it to 10 prompts per part because otherwise it would be way too long.**

**Disclaimer: Yes. I am Diana Wynne Jones and I have come back as a ghost in order to write fanfiction about my own books. What nonsense is this? Of course I don't own the characters!**

_Kiss_

Howl found it endearing that Sophie turned back into his little gray mouse and stumbled over to her flowers with a bright blush on her cheeks after the first time he kissed her. Sophie found it endearing that Howl was unable to form coherent sentences after the first time that _she_ kissed _him_.

_Victory_

Sophie chalked it up as a victory when she cleaned Howl's room and his retaliatory tantrum only included some rather petulant moaning and a refusal to leave the bathroom, which he claimed was the only sanctuary left to him. (She was planning on cleaning _that_ disaster the next morning.)

_Soft_

Howl marveled at the softness of Morgan's skin. He knew about baby skin from when Neil and Mari were small, but it was different when it was your own baby.

_Are you there?_

"Howl? Are you in there? Please come out; you're being silly and vain and I need to mop the floors. You look fine, I promise. It's really not that bad!"

"How would you know? You've never had your eyebrows vanished by YOUR OWN WIFE!"

_Midnight_

Sophie loved it when she woke up in the middle of the night to find Howl cuddled up next to her with his arm slung protectively around her waist. But she would never tell him that. It would just go to his already too-inflated head.

_Dancing_

Sophie wasn't sure how Howl would react when she told him the news that he would have to add a nursery on to the castle. Her fears were assuaged when he took her into his arms, spun her around, and waltzed her around the room.

_A Misunderstanding_

Howl walked into the castle to find Sophie hurriedly trying to sew one of his suits back together that, to his knowledge, had been whole that morning. When he approached her, her cheeks colored as she told him she thought he'd… oh, never mind, it was a simple misunderstanding, it's all been sorted, go away now, please.

_Idiot_

Howl was a coward. It was something that he could admit readily, but it was not something that he could change. As he liked to say, the only way for him to do something brave was to convince himself that he was _not_ doing it. And so, after vague wishes of happily-ever-after's left both him and Sophie unsure about the exact nature of their relationship, Howl needed to figure out a way to clarify things without actually having to clarify things.

So he bought a ring. And he left it in his pocket. And then he ripped his jacket. He gave said jacket (with the ring conveniently forgotten about) to Sophie to mend on his way out the door to go to the King's palace.

And Sophie, being incurably curious, felt the lump in the jacket pocket while she was sewing up the tear and had to investigate. What she found was a little velvet box, inside of which was a very shiny ring.

"Oh, it's just so…"

"Lovely? Beautiful? Perfect?" Sophie jumped and discovered that Howl was back from the King and leaning on the back of her chair.

"…cowardly! This is possibly the most round-about and idiotic way of asking me to marry you that I can think of!" Howl looked rather put out. She stood up, walked over to him, placed her arms around his neck, and stood on tip toe to whisper in his ear: "Idiot. Why didn't you try just asking me?"

Howl smiled and hugged her to him. "You know I can't do anything this frightening without pretending that I'm not." And then he took the ring out of the box and slipped it on her finger.

_Hug_

When Sophie finally saw who it was that appeared out of the genie's smoke, she practically threw herself at him. Howl caught her and spun her around amidst kisses and "I love you's" and "Don't you ever turn me into a cat again or so help me I will cut up all your suits and turn your hair ginger" and "You stubborn beautiful fool I was only trying to protect you and Morgan and if you had listened to me you wouldn't have ended up a cat and I've come to be rather fond of ginger hair" and "It's _red-gold_!"

_Smile _

Howl had that wicked, mischievous grin on his face that always meant he was about to start a quarrel with Sophie. This time, apparently, about whether or not it was okay to let their son be a kitten on his first birthday, as a special treat. Howl, of course, had no intention of actually going through with it. He just liked to rile Sophie up.


	2. Chapter 2

**Hey guys! Here's part two! Some of them are quite long and not really drabble-y. But, you know. It happens. Enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: Obviously still don't own.**

_Tears_

Morgan took after his father. Tears streaming down his face as he sat in his mother's lap, the six-year-old demanded to know why Lizzie from school would not let him hold her hand, despite all the nice things he said to her.

_Rain_

It was raining in Market Chipping, Calcifer was careful to point out. That was the only reason he was even in the grate. And he was only letting Sophie cook on him as a special favor; don't expect it in the future. But he was still there when the rain cleared up. Granted, that may have been because Howl and Sophie started one of their magic squabbles and the show was too amusing to pass up.

_Sunshine_

Howl loved it when he woke up before Sophie to find her snuggled up against his chest, her hair gleaming in the early morning sunshine streaming from the window. But he would never tell her that. It would just ruin their daily morning quarrel. And where's the fun in that?

_Winter_

The only thing winter was good for, Sophie reasoned, was snowball fights. Particularly if she happened to be winning them. "Go on then, snow," she said to the patch of white next to her. "Wouldn't it be wonderful to be shaped like a ball? So round and even and pretty! That's it, pack in nice and tight. Now you see that fellow over there? The one in the impractical suit with the ridiculous hair? I think you ought to knock him down a few notches. Go get him! Quick, before he turns around!"

_Innocence_

"SOPHIE!"

Sophie, darning some of Michael's socks in front of the hearth, flinched a little and looked up as her husband, clad only in his bathrobe, threw open the bathroom door bellowing her name.

"You've been experimenting with my bathroom spells again, haven't you? This has your name written all over it, Mrs. Nose!" Howl gestured emphatically at his hair, which was currently a dark brown color. Calcifer bobbed out of the grate to get a better look.

"Oho! That looks like your natural color!"

"Don't rub it in!"

"I don't know what either of you are talking about," Sophie sniffed, her eyes back on her work. "But if that is your natural color, I don't know why you feel the need to change it. I think it's lovely. Now go put some clothes on. You look ridiculous."

"Of COURSE I look ridiculous! Look at what you've done!" Howl paced back and forth in despair. "Even that pink from a year ago was better than this! And I can't get dressed. I'm too distraught. You just don't understand, Sophie dear. Not all of us can be as naturally beautiful as you. Now change it back."

Sophie fixed him with a hard glare. Howl countered with puppy dog eyes. Sophie sighed. "I'm not saying that I did it in the first place, but I _suppose_ I could talk the color back for you if you _really_ want me to. But only if you get dressed first. Lettie and Ben will be here in half an hour and while we may be used to you strutting about in next to nothing, I'm not sure Lettie will be able to keep a hold of herself."

_So Far Away _

"Mum! Mum! Mum!"

"I'm sorry, Morgan. Mum's not here right now. She's decided to go to High Norland." Sniff. "Without us."

"Mum! _Mum_! MUM!"

"I know! I can hardly believe it either! It's like she doesn't even care. And we could even _help_ her, couldn't we? But no, she just leaves us here to rot."

"MUUUUUUUUM!"

"Hmmmm. We've got to figure out a way to go after her, don't we, Morgan? And it's got to be clever so that it doesn't seem like we're interfering."

"MUMMUMMUMMUMMUMMUMMUMMUM!"

"I have an idea! And it involves disguises. And a second childhood. Oh, this is going to drive her mad! Come with Dad, Morgan. We've got to get you packed because we're going to go find Mum!"

_Silence_

Since the divination spell revealed that a djinn was headed their way, the moving castle was an absolute blur of activity. Howl and Calcifer were dashing about the castle setting up defenses and shouting instructions to Michael and the new apprentice. A very pregnant Sophie helped by commanding every spell and charm to quintuple its strength and informing the walls and doors that they would have hell to pay if they let anything bad inside.

After a time, Howl could see that there was no more to be done and they would just have to wait and see if their defenses held. He sent Michael and the new apprentice away to keep them safe. He tried to send Sophie to Wales, where he knew she would have access to a good hospital should anything happen to him, but of course she wouldn't go because she just does _not_ get on with Megan and she could be of more help here and besides, they already decided that they would have the baby in Ingary. So they bickered. And bickered. And several alarms started to shriek shrilly. And then-

Silence.

Utter silence fell as the alarms and spells and charms winked out and a huge magical presence infiltrated the castle so thoroughly that Howl realized there was nothing he could do. Then chaos broke out. He quickly shouted the cat spell as everything was pulled up by the roots and flung in all directions.

_Cooking _

"Howl? What are all these metal boxes for? And there's no fireplace in here. Should I just use… you know… to cook dinner?" Sophie poked her head out the door of her sister-in-law's kitchen. Megan and Gareth were taking a holiday away from the children and had enlisted Howl and Sophie to watch them because if they were going to barge in unannounced all the time, they might as well make themselves useful every once and a while!

"What? Sophie, I'll be there in a minute. Just don't touch anything," Howl said from the floor where he was helping Mari reassess her doll's wardrobe choices. Sophie pulled her head back in and examined again the food she was supposed to be preparing. Chicken nuggets and frozen peas. She couldn't figure out why anyone would freeze peas in the first place. What a silly idea! How are they supposed to be fresh and sweet if you freeze them? And then the package said something about a microwave. She didn't know what that was, but it sounded to her like something you would sail a miniature ship on rather than something you use to cook food. Sophie decided to ask Howl about it when he came in. Which was taking an awfully long time.

While she continued to wait, Sophie decided to take another look around the room. She opened a few drawers, but there was nothing stranger than a serving spoon inside. She examined some cupboards, and finally, took a look at the microwave.

"What in the world do you do?" she murmured. She pressed a button and it beeped loudly. Sophie jumped back, startled. "Just what do you think you're doing? You've no right to alarm people like that!" The microwave gave an apologetic sort of whir. "That's better. Now just… do whatever it is that you're supposed to do and we'll pretend this never happened! Get on with it! Go!" The microwave lit up and began to whir loudly, the window showing the empty plate rotating inside. It started going faster and faster and the whirring got louder and louder and the machine began to smoke.

"I hear a commotion. What did you do this time, Mrs. Nose?" Howl finally pushed open the door. He took one look at the smoking microwave and made a sharp gesture at it. It stopped. "I don't know why I thought you wouldn't go poking around when I told you not to. You'd think I'd have learned by now," Howl sighed dramatically as he pulled open the packet of frozen peas. Sophie snorted in defiance and went to help Mari with her doll.

_In the Moonlight_

A sharp cry in the night. Sophie groaned. Howl put his hand lightly on her shoulder.

"Shhh, Sophie. I'll get him this time."

"Hurmph snuffle hungry snort hnnng."

"No, it doesn't sound like a hungry cry. More like an I-was-dreaming-of-being-a-kitten-again-and-now-I've-woken-up-and-I'm-still-human-after-all cry. And as you've pointed out on numerous occasions, that's really all my fault."

"Huffle snarf sniff."

"Yes, I'm sure. Go back to sleep, cariad." He kissed her softly on the forehead and lightly leapt from bed.

_Storytime_

"Alright, you three! It's time for bed! Yes, yes, you don't want to, I know. Okay, how about this: one story and _then_ you go to bed. Deal? Deal. Come on, let's all sit on the ground here in front of Calcifer. That means you, Gwyn and Rhiannon! Stop pinching each other and come sit with your brother. Alright, here we go:

"Once upon a time, there was a wizard who had no heart. He had given it up a long time ago when he didn't know any better. But now, he knew he had made a mistake. He just didn't know how to get it back! So he went about his wizardly business all the while trying different ways to regain his heart.

"Then one day, an old witch appeared. She was a very, very old and very, very clean witch and she barged into the wizard's house and wouldn't leave. She got into all kinds of trouble: she almost caught a falling star. Remember what I told you? _Never_ try to catch a falling star. She told the King that she was the wizard's mother. And she turned the wizard's lovely hair ginger. Almost a pink, really.

"But despite all this trouble, the wizard slowly grew to see how extraordinary the witch was. It was too bad that the witch was so old and that he had no heart! Then, on Midsummer's Day, an evil demon came to the wizard's house. This demon had found the wizard's heart and was going to destroy it. The wizard tried to fight it, but the demon squeezed his heart until he was almost dead! Luckily, the witch came to his rescue. She wrestled his heart back and pushed it into his chest. The wizard was saved! He killed the demon and when he turned back to thank the witch, he saw that she had been transformed into a beautiful girl. He asked for her hand in marriage and she said yes. And they lived happily ever after.

"The end. Okay! Up you get! Time to go to sleep! No, I said _one_ story and then bed; there's no use arguing."


End file.
